Good Morning! I hope your week is off to a great start.
I was reading in Proverbs this morning and came across this verse that I just love:
“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but I kind word cheers it up.” Proverbs 12:25
I used to read this verse and think that I needed to just surround myself with more kind people so that I wouldn’t become weighed down by anxious thoughts. But until I began to change my self talk, nothing would really change. I had to make the conscious decision to be kind to myself in order to combat the self-criticism I had become so accustomed to.
I’ve found that it’s so much easier to be accountable to the words I say to others than the words I say to myself. I’m my own worst critic but this attitude really is counterproductive. In Mark 3:25, it says that “If a house is divided against itself, it cannot stand.” If you are mean to yourself and calling down ugly words over yourself in your mind, your ability to accomplish anything will be slim to none. Because you’re at war within yourself. You’re divided.
But when you choose to speak kind words to yourself and to be gentle with your mind, you breathe courage and strength. You will literally cheer yourself up!
Mommas, we don’t have to look very hard to find reasons to beat ourselves up. Here’s a little picture into my mindset on a daily basis. Maybe you can relate.
A Day in the Life of a Mean Mind:
Wakes up.
“I probably should have woken up earlier to work out. Now I’m going to gain five pounds and I’m NEVER going to lose the rest of this baby weight.”
Hears baby crying.
“Maybe she’ll go back to sleep. That’s mean. I’m such a mean mom. I should get her right away. What if she’s hurt?”
Jumps out of bed. Trips over shoes in the floor.
“Ouch! (Didn’t cuss. Winning.) Maybe if I could keep my house cleaner, I wouldn’t trip over things. I bet _______ has such a clean house. I bet she probably has already worked out this morning, too. She’s so skinny. And her hair? Gosh I wish I had her hair. I’d settle for my hair just growing back in. Post baby hair loss is no joke. You know what IS a joke? My cleaning skills. I’m the worst homemaker.”
Opens babies bedroom door.
“Good morning, love! Come see momma!”
Put baby down to change diaper and get dressed. Sees irritated bottom.
“Shoot, I knew I shouldn’t have let her have dairy. Why am I so bad at feeding my kids? Only green juice for everyone today. Who am I kidding, I don’t have anything green in this entire house. Ok frozen waffles it is. At least they’re organic. Or are they? I just want to make sure she’s getting enough calcium. I knew I should have breastfed longer. She probably wouldn’t have a red bottom if I was still nursing. ________ still nurses her two year old and he never gets red bottoms. Or at least I’m pretty sure he definitely never gets red bottoms.”
Reaches for clothes. Everything is dirty.
“I was supposed to wash clothes yesterday and forgot. Actually I remembered to put them in the washer but not in the dryer so now they’ve been sitting there for a day and I’ll have to start them over again because they’ll smell spoiled. Speaking of smelling spoiled… I stink. Did I shower yesterday? Did I shower the day before?”
Puts baby back in pajamas and walks downstairs. Feeling defeated because I didn’t wake up early enough, didn’t work out, probably getting fatter as we speak, has a dirty house with no healthy food and no time to shower. And it’s not even breakfast yet.
A Morning in the Life of a Kind Mind:
Wakes up.
“This bed is so comfy I can’t move. I’ve been running ragged so I’m so glad I was able to sleep in.”
Hears baby crying.
“She’ll be ok for a minute while I make my bed and brush my teeth.”
Jumps out of bed. Trips over shoes in the floor.
“Ouch! (Didn’t cuss. Winning.) Woops! Forgot to put those booties up last night. Gosh, I love these shoes. They made my legs look great on our date last night. That date was so fun. Those fajitas were amazing. Still proud of myself for splitting and only eating a few chips. Peace out, baby weight!”
Opens babies bedroom door.
“Good morning, love! Come see momma!”
Put baby down to change diaper and get dressed. Sees irritated bottom.
“Uh oh! You got a red bottom. Let’s put some medicine on it to make it feel better then go get some yummy breakfast. We are gonna have waffles! No more yogurt for you, little one.”
Reaches for clothes. Everything is dirty.
“No clean clothes yet so you get to stay in your jammies like mommy! Let’s go start the washer over so you’ll have some clean clothes to wear this afternoon.”
Puts baby back in pajamas and walks downstairs. Feeling refreshed from a good nights sleep, already getting a good start to the day by doing laundry, eating waffles, and maybe will even sneaking a workout and a shower in during nap time.
Nothing changed about my morning except the way I responded to it.
One thing that both kind words and mean words have in common is that they start a chain reaction. Speaking even one mean word to yourself will open up pandora’s box of ugly and spew it out all over you. You might have started out tripping over a shoe, but you might just end up as a no good, clumsy, out of shape, doofus with bad hair, a dirty house, and no self discipline.
Speak a kind word though and you begin to feel hopeful, cheerful, and optimistic. You might have started out tripping over a shoe, but you ended up as a grateful, happy, smiling girl who had an awesome date night last night, a super cute new pair of booties, and a genuine love for fajitas.
I hope this little exercise will remind you that you’re not alone if you find yourself beating yourself up, but you’re also not a hopeless cause. It takes just as much energy to swing to the side of kindness as it does to slump into the hole of self-criticism. So let’s be nice to ourselves. Little eyes are watching. What a wonderful legacy to leave to love ourselves the way GOD loves us!
Happy Tuesday, loves!!
SUCH a great read. I have truly been struggling with changing my mindset to set myself up for a positive day, instead of throwing myself a pity party for all of the things I didn't do yesterday and don't want to do today. So much truth in this post. Thanks for the encouragement! xoxo
Yes, girl! Right there with ya!!
Amen. Attitude is everything. Thanks for writing this.