This is the story of how my first baby came into the world.
I went from 7 to 10 pretty fast but when I got in the water to try to start pushing, I just couldn’t get in the right frame of mind. I felt too relaxed.
We changed to my bed and after adjusting positions a few more times, we finally found one that worked. Labor is described in a lot of different ways but maybe one of the most accurate pictures is that you are having an out of body experience. I knew everything that was going on. I remember my legs felt shaky and I remember just feeling so tired. I thought at one point I had looked at my midwife and suggested that maybe it was better if the baby just stayed in my tummy. So if she could make the contractions stop, we would just try this again another day. I remember feeling like I was yelling during each contraction but then afterward, everyone kept talking about how quiet I was. It was the most focused I have ever been. All I could think about was wanting the contractions to stop. I didn’t feel strong or prepared. I felt week and unable. It was a moment of pure vulnerability.
We just sat there in such a precious moment. No one rushed in to take her away. Her heart tones were perfect, she was already showing us how vocal she was, and all I kept thinking was that I couldn’t believe she was finally here.